dandelion, poetry

A Spam-Mail Poetry Celebration

May 11, 2015

by — Posted in Getting Personal, Short and Silly

This weekend, it was my birthday. At 32, I am now safely back in even-number territory, and everything feels better already. After the stress of worrying that everyone would make it to the right place for the hike and ensuing BBQ, I’ve decided that from now on, I will ask someone else to plan my birthday parties. This is my gift to myself. And someĀ other lucky person’s gift to me as well.

The week before last marked one year since I broke my back. Naif that I was back then, I thought all would be back to normal within about 6 weeks. As of this writing, I am planning my second yoga session in as many days because sitting up straight has once again become a literal pain in the neck. Nevertheless, I can sleep on my stomach again, so things are looking way up from a year ago.

I’ve been away from the blog for awhile. (Apparently, this happens when you get a new job and also a short-term kiwi “boyfriend” who is leaving any day, and therefore you must make the most of every moment, seize the day, plan all the lessons, etc. etc.) But my blog knows I will always come back to her. She’s patient that way. Hopefully the rest of you don’t mind either!

While I was away, I accumulated some interesting spam messages in my comments folder. Normally, spam comments limit themselves to offers to improve my SEO and discounts on Nike products. Lately, though, the spammers seem to have gotten creative -almost poetic. So, in honour of being one year older, and one year away from a broken back, I’ve compiled the spam into a found poem. (My apologies for not crediting the original “authors”. All typos and grammatical errors are [sic].)

I’ll Fix It!

Im not a dog. I said staring at the T.V,

What if I had the guts to quit my job?

I do not have a clue!

I was thinking after work we could grab a cup of coffee.

She nodded and took a deep breath, Okay.

To hell with that bitch!

I’m all yours.

dandelion, poetry