Do Something New Day: Online Dating

Technically, I am not new to online dating -I tried it once before, in my early twenties, right before I met my last boyfriend. That time around, I met exactly 2 people from the Internet, one of whom spent the whole two or so hours that we hung out telling me about the book he was going to write that would show everyone that God doesn’t exist (except maybe in nature). This was after I called the phone number he gave me, and his father answered, and yelled at me because he thought I was a telemarketer.

This time around, so far, has been decidedly different. Maybe it’s that internet dating has evolved to the point that it’s not just the weird and the curious who are doing it -it’s everyone. Maybe it’s an established enough practice now to have developed some social norms that most people know how to follow. Or  maybe I’ve just gotten better at ignoring the obvious crazies.

At any rate, so far, everyone I’ve met has been very friendly. They’ve also all been either a climber, a backcountry skier, or both. In fact, I’ve had a lot of messages from outdoorsy people wondering where my skiing photo was taken, or telling me about their recent climbing/hiking/mountaineering adventure. Which is pretty awesome.

I’ve been refining my screening process since I started this venture, and felt I should share some insight.

The Girl’s List of Internet Dating Profiles to Avoid

1. Photos of bare torsos, taken in bathroom mirrors.

2. Profiles that contain angry rants about the kind of person s/he is NOT looking for. (“Don’t bother messaging me if…”)

3. Profiles that total about 5 words. (Sometimes those 5 words are, “Just checking this site out”.)

4. 5,000 word, stream-of-consciousness self-summaries.

5. No photos at all, or photos where you can’t see the person.

6. Every photo is a staged quasi-military photo involving poses with guns.

7. The person lives in Singapore.

8. “U” instead of “you”. Put some EFFORT in!

9. Hobbies listed are, “exercise, going to the gym, working out”.

10. 35-year-old men who are looking for “girls, aged 18 to 23”.

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  1. totherooks

    Totally agree, especially about the bathroom mirror selfies!

  2. Although I don’t have experience with online dating, I enjoyed this TED talk by Amy Webb on the subject, perhaps you will find it interesting as well. Her list of profiles to avoid was undoubtedly much longer than yours!